I Must Confess

Posted May 6 2013, 4:42 pm in , , , , , , ,

So, my first triathlon is a little over a month away and at this point in my training, I should be ready to go.
In theory.

This is where the confession part comes in. Now I’m sure you probably think I’m going to tell you that I didn’t do my training. That maybe I skipped out on the last five months of bike, swim and run workouts. BUT…no. I did them. No, not all of them. Sometimes life gets in the way. (I know, right!)

But I did follow the plan. I got my training hours in even when the last thing I wanted to do was sit on my bike in the dark basement on a blizzardy day.

My confession is this…I don’t feel ready. Not. One. Bit.

I have mere weeks before I’m supposed to swim, bike and run my way through an Olympic tri course and I’m scared. But only seriously scared of one part. (I’m also scared of the other parts, just to a lesser degree.)

I must confess, it’s the run that terrifies me. Many who know me, think this is strange. After all, I was a runner before I ever joined swim club. I was a runner long before I even considered purchasing a road bike, let alone actually hitting the road with one. I am a runner.


These shoes are made for…running?

So, why am I terrified of the run?

Well, there’s the small detail that the run portion of a triathlon is conveniently located at the end of the race after I’ve already exhausted myself in the lake and on the bike. So…there’s that. It’s a wee bit scary to think about.

There’s also the small matter of my knees to consider. I have the knees of someone at least ten or fifteen years older than me, and a new tear in the meniscus of what was my ‘good knee’ doesn’t help. My crappy knees have never held me back from running before—although they do keep my physiotherapist in business—and they’re not stopping me from running right now. Not really. Although they do hurt and I can be a bit of a suck when something hurts. Which means I haven’t been all that excited to hit the road when I know it’s going to result in ouchy  (yes, that’s a technical term) knees.

But, no…that’s not the problem either.  Since I’m going for confessions here, I might as well admit what might be the real problem is when it comes to the run.
I’ve been thinking a lot about what it’s terrifying me, and I think it comes down to my last triathlon experience. I really, REALLY don’t want this run to go the way that one did. It was two years ago and when it came to training, I wasn’t worried about the run so I didn’t focus on training very hard for that portion of the race.


The course was hilly, my quads cramped, and let’s just say it was a terrible, horrible, no good, crappy run.

What if it happens again?

So, there it is. My confession. It’s all out in the open. We’re only weeks away from my first triathlon and I’m scared. Backing out isn’t an option, so I’ll spend the remaining training time I have, staying as close to the plan as possible and focusing on the run. I will do it. Hopefully it will be a tad prettier then last time.

Phew, they say that confession is good for the soul. I feel better already. Now, who wants to go for a run?

What about you? What do you want to confess? AND…seriously, who wants to go for a run?




composing myself blurb**Hey, in case you missed it…my new novel, Composing Myself, is now available! You can find it at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo and Apple.



3 responses to “I Must Confess”

  1. Dee says:

    I’ll run with you in spirit 😉 But I felt the same way going into my triathlon last weekend – I had been swimming and biking fairly consistently, but I was worried about the run since I had been dealing with a foot issue and hadn’t been able to train like I wanted. And I came fairly close to psyching myself out about it, and then it was the night before the race and I was like – i’m here, i’ve paid my money – as long as I finish – I don’t care. And that helped. When it came to the run portion, I was feeling my foot/knee being pains – and ended up doing a run/walk combo.

    Will be there for you in spirit!

  2. Okay, you know I’m sooooo not with you for the run.


    I’ve said it before.

    It’s just like writing.

    I’m sure you’ve doubted yourself before.

    But you just keep writing and then — look — you’re book is finished. You’re going to finish this thing. Even with your crappy knees. You can do it, Elena. You know you can. Think of it as pre-wedding jitters. It’s new. It’s scary. I’ve no doubt you are going to fly!


    Compose Yourself.

    (Did you see what I did there?)

    *wink wink*

  3. Was it Maya Angelou who said, ‘When you knew better, you did better’? Well, now you know better. You know to think about it, to focus on that part, to stay strong and run well. We’re all going to be there with you in spirit, but only you will be there with in in all of it, mind, body, and spirit. You got this. It’s what you’ve trained for, so don’t let your fear take all that training and make it mush.

    I love what Renée just did there. Very cool.

    Get out there and rock it like you know you can.

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