How Big Is Your Brave?

Posted May 24 2013, 2:01 pm in , , , , , , , , ,

Anyone who knows me, knows that I tend to say exactly what I’m thinking. I’m not, and I’ve never been one for not vocalizing my opinions. I’m pretty sure positive that this made me difficult as a child. And…let’s be honest, I’m pretty sure it makes me occasionally difficult as a wife. (No comment is necessary here, Rob.)

Over the years, I’ve become a bit better at censoring myself in certain situations, but when it’s important, or I feel it’s important, I say something. I’m not good at swallowing my feelings, and I’m certainly not good and keeping my mouth shut! I think this is a good thing (for the most part) because I’ve seen so many of the women in my life keep quiet when they should be doing anything but.

I have a daughter who shares many of my traits (for better and for worse, let’s be honest…) and one of the traits that she has in common with me, is this incredible ability to say exactly what she feels. When she feels it. All. The. Time.

Yes, this can be ‘challenging’ and when she was younger, and not quite as verbally eloquent, it was very difficult. But the trade off is that I know she’ll speak up. She’ll say what’s on her mind. If she sees a wrong, I have no doubt that she will say something to attempt to correct it. When she’s older and in a relationship, the person she’s with will know exactly where they stand. She won’t be silent.

And I’m so glad.

There will be times, when like me, she’ll get in trouble for speaking up. There will be times when it won’t be appreciated and people will be angry. BUT… there will be the times when she defends a friend. When she speaks out about an injustice at school or work. When she tells someone who is treating her poorly, exactly where to go…and hopefully, how to get there.

Recently, I heard the song, Brave, by Sara Bareilles for the first time. I downloaded it instantly (thank you Songza app) because the lyrics of this song are so powerful and the message is clear, “Say what you want to say, let the words fall out. Honestly. I want see you be brave.”

I can’t get this song out of my head, and I think it’s because of the message that I want to give to both of my kids…People aren’t always going to like what you have to say, but if it’s important, if you believe in it, SAY IT! Be brave.
If you haven’t heard it, do yourself a favor and check it out.
This is the official lyric video.

I wanna hear how ‘big your brave is’. What’s the hardest thing you’ve had to say? Or a time when you had to speak up?




5 responses to “How Big Is Your Brave?”

  1. I love the video! I hadn’t heard the song before, but like her other songs. Powerful message here, Elena and one I absolutely share! Being brave and speaking up can be hard at times, but it’s so important. Sure, it gets me into trouble as well. I figure it this way, if I say something, then I have a say in the situation. If I don’t, then I can’t complain about what’s going on around me. I’d much rather have some power than none. Your voice is a powerful tool, use it!

    • Elena Aitken says:

      Thanks, Tameri.
      Such a great song. But I do think we need to teach our girls (and our boys) to be brave. Say what they want to say, and not settle for silence in the worry that they will upset the status quo.
      And I love your point…if you don’t speak up, you have no right to complain! ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. kp says:

    When my daughter was in grade 9, there were two twin boys who were difficult kids. One of them kept using the expression, “don’t be so gay”. My daughter told him one day that she thought he should not use the expression because it sounded homophobic; she told him that she had family members and a friend who were gay and she didn’t feel good about him using the expression. All Hell broke out; these twins bullied my daughter for a year; they stopped hanging out with her; they harassed her at school; and she was excluded from events where they were present. While this provoked many days of tears and upset for my daughter, she never regretted saying something. I think the experience has made her a little tougher; helped her to know what can happen when you speak up; and to know that she can handle the fall out….Kim

    • Elena Aitken says:

      Wow, Kim.
      Thank you for sharing that and good for your daughter! It’s not always easy to say what we think, and what we feel to be right, especially when faced with consequences like that. I’m sure you’re SO proud of her for being so brave!

  3. Trish Loye Elliott says:

    Loved this song and this post. Totally showed my daughter this song. It’s on my writing playlist now!

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