It’s coming. The S-E-X talk. I know it is. And, if I’m being honest, maybe it should have happened already. But… it hasn’t. My kids are nine and a half and no, I’m not naive. And no, I don’t live in a pretty little bubble (although some days I’d like to.) So…I am aware that I need to have THE TALK.
Lincoln: “Those eggs could have been chickens.”
Me: “True,” I said, cracking an egg into the bowl. “But they’re not.”
Lincoln: “Because the male chicken didn’t come by.”
Lincoln: “Yeah, whatever. The rooster didn’t come by.”
Me: Sensing an opening for an honest conversation. “What do you mean”
Lincoln: “Well if the rooster comes by, they become chickens.”
Me: “Just like that?”
Lincoln watches The Discovery Channel quite a bit and so it really shouldn’t come as too much of a shock that he might know a little something about the subject. But was I being (pardon the pun) a chicken for not using the egg conversation as a lead in for THE TALK? Um…yup. But come on, it was 7:30 in the morning, I was hungry and really, I need more than one cup of coffee for that.
Fast forward about a week, and I’m in the car with a bunch of girlfriends coming home from a night out. The conversation somehow shifted to the topic of our kids and, I’m fuzzy on the details here, and the topic of sex and when to have THE TALK. It became
Now, I’ll be honest, I’ve always thought of myself as the type of parent who would be very open with the kids about everything and would encourage them to come to me with questions and concerns as they get older. And…sigh…I am still trying to be that parent. But…but…
So, I’ve decided that the time has come.The kids are in grade four now and apparently part of the curriculum is sex ed. Okay. I can deal with this. BUT, I want to make sure I give them some facts before they get to the classroom. (Plus, I’m pretty sure Lincoln knows quite a bit more than he’s letting on with the chicken story.)
A few months ago, on a writing weekend, my friends Leanne, Trish and Gigi and I watched this YouTube video. (Yes, we do actually write on those weekends too.) But now every time I think about having THE TALK, I think about Julia Sweeney and how she explained things to her daughter. The video is just over ten minutes, but I promise you it’s worth a watch. If you’re thinking about having the sex talk, have had it, or are just looking for a laugh…this is hilarious. I REALLY hope my experience goes a bit smoother with fewer questions. But knowing my kids…well, let’s just say there better be red wine.
So, please. Tell me your funniest stories about THE TALK. With your own kids or maybe your parents when you were a kid. Spill it!