Category Archives: Bestie Showcase

The Family We Choose

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Friends are important to me. Really important. Every single book I’ve written has a strong female friendship in it. Hmm…I wonder where that comes from?
Seriously though, friends are the family we choose. And that’s pretty cool. You don’t get to choose the family you’re born into. Maybe they’re loving, supportive and fun. But…maybe they’re not.

But friends. This is where we have all the control.  We get to choose the people that we want to spend time with. Choose well and your life will be richer. Choose poorly and…well, maybe not so much.

I am so fortunate to have been surrounded by some incredible ladies that I’m proud to call my friends. Some of those ladies I’ve known a LONG time. There is one group in particular that I’ve known for decades. For lack of a better, much cooler name, I refer to them as my ‘high school friends’. But these girls are so much more than that. And really, I’ve known most of them longer than that. Kerry and I have been friends since we were about three when our mom’s formed a ‘play group’. Really I think this was a way to pawn off your kids on other mom’s once a week so they could have some peace, but whatever, it spawned at least one life long friendship. Alli and I met in Grade one and have been besties ever since, and the rest of the group came together mostly in Junior High when we were thirteen.

There’s something very special, and yes, a little scary about friends who’ve known you for so long. They know everything. Like, everything. The good, bad and the sometimes ugly less cute. And they still accept you were who you are.

We were there for the first kisses that melted our hearts, the subsequent break-ups that we thought would crush us; driving lessons, first cars, and first speeding tickets; sneaking out, getting caught, grounded for life; parties, camping excursions, trips around the world. And then later… babies, university, weddings, travel, careers, more babies and…

Everything.

We’ve all grown into pretty awesome women. (I may be partial) And we’re all so different from one another, yet the friendship remains. We all have busy careers, most of us have families, and we’re all just crazy busy and I don’t get to see all of these ladies all that often. But when we do get together, it’s as if no time has passed. It’s easy. It’s fun. And every single time, I have a great time and wish I could see them more.

As a group, we try to make it a priority to all get together for dinner once a month to celebrate birthdays. A few weeks ago, we turned the birthday ‘dinner’ into an overnight ladies trip. So. Much. Fun. Our conversations have changed so much over the years that I’m sure our thirteen year old selves would be shocked. My stomach still hurts from all the laughs we shared and I can just imagine what we’ll be talking about in another ten years, or twenty…

The only picture you’re allowed to see…

Old friends know your past, your present and if you’re lucky…your future.

Thanks, ladies!

How about you? Have you had some of the same friends for decades?

Raise Me Up AND Raft With Me

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I just came home from a Sunday night wine date with my wordbitches Trish and Leanne, (yes we go for wine on Sundays, ya gotta do what ya gotta do) and the thought occurred to me on the way home… These ladies, brought together through one common interest a few years ago, have become besties. Not only are they both amazing, smart, talented women. They also both have kind, open and generous hearts and I’m proud to call them both friends.

I’m not sure how exactly we moved from critique group members and writing partners to friends, but it happened almost without us realizing it. It started with spending every second Thursday sipping lattes, reading each others work, offering suggestions and telling each other to ‘do better’. And then one day, we were telling each other about our families, our kids, our jobs, stresses, etc. Going on writing retreat weekends, meeting for coffee or wine outside of critique group and… the leap was made.

Since that bridge was crossed we’ve learned a lot about each other (good stuff and bad stuff) we’ve even risked our lives together. Yes, white water rafting is risky! I had to sign a waiver.

Yup, that's us up front. And Kelly, another great writing friend from Texas joined us too! Wild water indeed!

But I really knew these ladies were besties when I had a particularly crappy moment a few weeks ago. I shared with Leanne through private messages only moments after my crappy moment occurred. What followed was a ten minute exchange with her solidly building me up and making me laugh. She helped me through the crisis mode. The next day I shared the crappy moment with Trish via email. She responded with an email that brought me to tears (happy ones) because of the encouraging and wonderful things she had to say. See? Besties.

Besties make you feel better when all you want to do is cry. They kick you in the ass when you’re slacking off on your dreams. They give you the support, belief and encouragement that you need to believe in yourself. And they do it without expecting anything in return.

Quick bio for these great ladies. We all blog together over at wordbitches, all about the writing life. Leanne also blogs at ironicmom and stuffkidswrite She has a regular column in the Calgary Herald and can often be heard on CBC radio. She’s funny, sarcastic and if ever you need a laugh (cause who doesn’t) check her out. Trish is a kick ass, award winning Young Adult writer. She crafts a fight scene that will have you on the edge of your seat, and creates worlds that I can’t even dream about. She’s working on a post apocalyptic YA novel that is going to smoke the book world. Watch for her, you’ll be glad you did.

As you can see, I’m lucky to be in such great writing company. They humble me.

So, in honor of the completion of my Bestie Showcase, I have two things to share with you. The first is an inspirational video that I found and I believe encompasses exactly what Besties of all kind do for us. Whether it’s your sister-in-law, childhood friend, or parent. A good Bestie will raise us up. I’m not a church going gal, but I believe strongly in the power of people. Warning, this video made me bawl like a baby. (But I do that, so take it for what you will.)

The second thing I want to leave with you is an email I received from another Bestie, Sandy. She’s a mother of triplets only a few months older than my twins. We met when our babies were still babies. She has always normalized things for me. She has three, I have two. I. Can. Do. This.

She lives far away now, but we connect whenever we can. I am truly blessed by all the amazing women in my life. Those that have been mentioned publicly on my blog (thanks for that ladies) and the many other awesome women in my life. You know who you are, thank you!

Enjoy and thanks for hanging out with me during the Bestie Showcase.

Time passes.

Life happens.

Distance separates.

Children grow up.

Jobs come and go.

Love waxes and wanes.

Men don’t do what they’re supposed to do.

Hearts break.

Parents die.

Colleagues forget favors.

Careers end.

BUT………

Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how

many miles are between you.

A girl friend is never farther away than needing her can reach.

When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you

have to walk it by yourself, the women in your life

will be on the valley’s rim, cheering you on,

praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on

your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the

valley’s end.

Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk

beside you….Or come in and carry you out.

Girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters,

daughters-in-law, sisters, sisters-in-law, Mothers,

Grandmothers, aunties, nieces, cousins, and extended

family: all bless our life!

The world wouldn’t be the same without women, and

neither would I.. When we began this adventure called

womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or

sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we

would need each other.

My Mom – My Bestie

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For the last few weeks I’ve been profiling some of the besties in my life. I’ve introduced you to Deb, Tammy and Alli. But a Bestie Showcase would not be complete without the addition of this weeks bestie…

My mom.

It wasn’t always this way. Growing up, I wasn’t what you would call the easiest child. I may have been a bit ‘spirited’, emotional and prone to drama. I know, you’re shocked right?!

But then a funny thing happened, I grew up and I moved out. Once there was a bit of distance between us, I suddenly could get to know my mom better. As a person, not as the woman who made me clean my room or be home at a certain time, but as an actual person.

As the years passed and I’ve become a mother myself, I’ve realized that her job wasn’t easy. Especially when you’ve been blessed with a dramatic , spirited daughter. I get it, because I now have one of my own. Somehow Mom and I came out of those years and are stronger, better people for having had them. (At least that’s what I like to think.)

My Biggest Supporter!

Now, we talk on the phone every few days, filling each other in on what’s going on in our lives. She’s one of the first ones I want to tell when something exciting happens. She’s my biggest cheer leader and my number one fan. When I published my debut novel this summer, she was arguably the very first person who bought it, even though she’d already read it. She’s also the best P.R. person ever. I swear, she tells everyone about my book. And I do mean, everyone!

This summer I ran my very first Olympic length triathlon. It was a big deal for me. I was nervous, excited and totally scared. I didn’t even have to ask and Mom made sure they could arrange their schedule to be there, cheering me on for every transition and all the way across the finish line. For anyone who’s done a big event, they know, the cheer squad is crucial!

A remarkable woman, she is strong, creative and caring with a huge loving heart. She is the type of woman I want to be. She’s taught me so much over the years just by watching her. She probably didn’t think I was paying attention, but I was. One of the most important things I learned through her was how to be a friend. Everyone likes Mom. She always has dozens of friends, and has had the same ones for years. She will do anything for her friends, she will be there whenever she’s needed and to her, friends are family. Watching her and the relationships she had with her own besties over the years, taught me what it meant to be a friend and what I wanted in my own friendships. The perfect example.

So, here’s to mom.

A good mother? Yes.

A true bestie? Absolutely!

And I’m proud to call her my mom and my friend.

So tell me, are you and your mom close? Would you consider her a bestie?