While I’m busy wrapping up my holiday, I am very proud to have my beautiful friend Diana Murdock hanging out at the blog today. Not only is she an amazing author and mother but she has a very interesting history that not only includes alcohol smuggling but organizing hurricane relief fundraisers and cookie baking for seniors. I know, amazing! As I’ve gotten to know her over the last nine months, I’ve been blown away by the raw honesty of her posts. She tells it like it is, and I love that about her. Diana has an excellent novel out, Again (I loved the two interwoven stories in this one) and her new release is coming soon, watch for it! That’s enough of me, here’s Diana…
Cyber Friends – It Ain’t Is What It’s Cracked Up To Be
In years past I’ve been known to complain that technology is widening the gap between people and making our interactions increasingly less personal. After all, I’m a touchy-feely hugger. I need physical, face-to-face contact. But like a good little sheep, I fell in step with everyone else. A couple years ago, when my then-husband and I worked at home in different rooms, we would email each other rather than get up off our butts and walk across the house. It was convenient. I got the concept, but I still felt so isolated. Kind of like sitting on my own little island sending up flares hoping someone would see me. And because of that, I never saw the value in on-line communication.
But now? Hell, I’m all over it.
I hadn’t really thought about my change of attitude because it was such a gradual shift. Fueled by Kristen Lamb’s We Are Not Alone (WANA) teachings, that attitude has now grown into such a deep appreciation, I’d climb to the top of the highest on-line mountain and post and retweet it over and over again how much I appreciate my cyber friends!
So when Elena asked me to guest post for her while she was away, I didn’t hesitate. I wanted to help my WANA sister in a big way. Because that’s what friends do for each other, cyber or no.
In the last six months I have met the most incredible people. Actually, I’ve never met any of them face-to-face. I only know them through pictures and posts, but I do feel I know them, I mean, really know them. Six months of daily emails, tweets, smiley icons, LOL’s, and tons of support tend to open the door to familiarity.
Some may still insist that cyber relationships are impersonal and they are as potentially misleading as on-line dating, but the truth of the matter is that although everyone has the power to delete, backspace, write and rewrite our messages and posts, we can see who’s at the other end of the keyboard. There’s no hiding who we really are inside. Our writing reflects who we are, no matter how perfectly poised the words may be. We can’t help it.
And it’s through these words that we connect, sift through, and ferret out those peeps we choose to hold closer to our hearts than most. It’s just like in the days of old: You meet someone at a party or at school or work. You talk, maybe have coffee, and by the end of the day you’d know whether you’d shake their hand or pull them into a hug. (It doesn’t hurt that we can go trolling around profile pictures and Facebook pages and albums to see who someone really is. And don’t deny you haven’t done that!)
Sure, technology has made the personal touch a luxury, but it has also picked up the four corners of the world and gathered them together in the middle so we are able to broaden our reach.
Personally, I have friends in Pakistan, Wales, Italy, United Kingdom, Ecuador, and Canada (and other countries, I’m sure). I’ve discovered friends in my old stomping grounds in California and a few in the states surrounding Idaho. When my cousin passed away not too long ago, his friends in New York and I befriended each other to lend comfort, and though I don’t know them personally, I do know I can count them as my friends because of the shared love for my cousin.
As for the handful of peeps who my soul knows and embraces, through the words that we have exchanged, I can say without a doubt that I do know them and feel comfortable enough to open up my life and heart. I trust them and I know they trust me.
Do you have some of those? Try Skyping one or two of these special friends and tell me if the both of you don’t just fall into step as if your last conversation happened only a few minutes before. Yeah. Friendship, love, and trust can be nurtured on-line.
Nuff Said
For me, and many others, cyber friendship can be the most viable way of socializing. Sure, we all have our friends we hang out with once or twice a week, or family on the holidays, but on a daily basis, how else can we connect with as many peeps as we do when our daily lives are filled with working, writing, raising children, chasing our pets, trying to find family time and personal time? On line, we give each other the boosts, nudges, validation, and high five’s we need to get through the day.
We’re adaptable creatures. I think we’ve all been able to wrap our heads around the fact – without guilt – that we can carry on conversations with ten different followers on Twitter and comment and like another ten on Facebook all while multitasking our normal daily activities. We all get it.
As a single mother who works ungodly hours, raising two very active boys, with a WIP about to bloom, there’s no way I would have any hope of a social life, let alone have an opportunity to meet fellow writers, soul sistas and brothas, and overall just really cool people.
So Kristen, you’re so right…We are not alone. Not ever.
Thank you, Elena, for inviting me over to your place! It’s been a lot of fun to get out and stretch my legs in your neighborhood!
I can not think of a better way to finish up with my blog babysitters than with this post. It’s been an absolute privilege to get to know such amazing ladies who have become an important part of my life. Thank you, Diana for an awesome and perfectly fitting post.
If you wnat more of Diana, check her out
On Twitter @Diana_Murdock
And at her blog dianamurdock.wordpress.com/
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Thank you for entrusting me with today’s blog, Elena! I appreciate you so much and will always be here for you!! Looking forward to having you back!
This was awesome! We are not alone – ever! I have been very fortunate to have met you and my Wana711 sisters – you have become more than just a ‘group name’ to me. Friendships are valued and treasured!
I feel the same way, Steena! We have something special!
SO good and SO true. We all came together through some sort of karmic chain … I’m convinced of that. How else could this have happened in such a meaningful way? Wana711 rules!
It’s so cool how we just clicked, right? This kind of support and friendship is so inspiring. It all just fell into place. Hugs to you, Patricia!
Agreed!!! You are so right, Diana. I feel like I’ve known my WANA711 and other WANA peeps for a bit and that when we can finally meet in person (or Skype–what a great idea), that it will be a natural continuation. We do learn who people are from and through their writing as well as from FB posts, tweets, e-mails, blog comments.
I can’t wait until we all hook up. I have a feeling it will be a nonstop talkfest!
I have this theory (uh oh, you know you should grab a cup of tea when someone starts a sentence with those four words).
Anyway, as I was saying, I have this theory that social media friendships are actually more similar to how people used to develop friendships a century ago…through the written word. I know it’s much faster and shorter, but we get to know each other through tweets, through blogs, through Facebook. It is hard to consistently deceive others through the written word, especially through a lot of “updates.”
The tweeps I’ve all had the pleasure of meeting have been EXACTLY as I thought they were.
Thanks for making me think.
And although I’m not a WANA 711 survivor, I feel like a cousin.
Leanne, you’re right. Waaaaay back letters were the way of presenting ourselves. Social media now is just a condensed version of that. We now have the instant gratification component to it.
And as you mention, if someone is not their true self, in the multitude of “updates” there is bound to be a slip up, exposing their nature. Fortunately we run with a crowd of down to earth peeps. I love you all.
As our “cousin” we embrace you into our family. Hugs to you!
LOL…I’m a cousin too, Leanne! We’re what you might call “shirt-tail relations” in the Midwest.
Thank you so much for validating friendships online! It is almost like a couple of generations ago when the ONLY communication people had was through letters. I truly value my ciber friendships!
I’m with you! I really look forward to connecting with my friends on line. When one of them is gone for any period of time, I feel it. Just like Elena being gone. Her presence is definitely missed! At least now we are able to get instant responses (for the most part) as if we are in the same room! Thanks for visiting!
I’m so with Patricia on the karmic chain. I’m amazed at the diverse people who are out there and I completely can connect with outside of age, life path, and global location which would normally dictate who you connect with on a daily basis.
Diana, great, great, super! Brava! Such a meaningful post about cyber interconnectiveness.
Leanne is so right. People used to fall in love through letters. Even during the World Wars that was how lovers continued to be connected while away for so long. It gave both souls hope that someday they will be together again to have a life that the soldier was fighting for.
Elena, great choice in a sitter!
Thank you, sister mine. My circle of friends in my town is very limited to certain demographics, but here in the cyber world, my friends are from all walks of life. Chance comments or retweets open the door for discussion and a chance for a new friend. It’s like a buffet out there!
Thank you, C, for your wonderful words!! Hugs to you!
whoops! …CYBER…
Oooo I like Leanne’s theory. Writing is personal and intimate, whether we want it to be or not, and as you point out, Diana, at some point we see the person on the other side of the screen.
Because of the type of work I did in the 90′s, I’ve been online for years and have been a member of many discussion lists and chat rooms and email loops. I did get to know those folks, but never considered them as friends – cyber or otherwise. (Not that they weren’t nice folks.)
However, WANA has been very different from those experiences, and I’m surprised at how attached I am to all my buddies. And, how comfortable I am with everyone.
I feel like I finally have a lunch table to join in the cyber lunchroom.
As usual, Diana, excellent post. You always make me think.
Hey Elena! What a smart hostess you are to line up so many friends during your vacation. Hope you are having a fabulous time.
I think, also Bridgette, at least for me, as writers we tend to be a bit more open and in our eagerness to better our craft, we are eager to learn from others. Perhaps we love to share a piece of ourselves. Maybe it is our ages that makes us rise above the pettiness. Don’t know, but whatever it is, it works!
Good point, Diana. I’ve wondered if being writers we were more comfortable with sharing than other folks. Whatever it is, glad it does work!
Such brilliance evidenced here, a tea stirred with loving warmth. Elena, fantanstic idea to have guest posters lined up while you take a vacation from bloggin to be with family. And Diana, and the others who have posted, I’ve enjoyed your posts so much. Yes, Wana is a home away from home.
There is so much talent here, Marion. I am honored to be a part of this. Hugs to you, sista!
what a treat to find a hot spotand log in only to see such a love fest on my blog! Diana what a beautiful post! I agree with everything said here. You absolutly get to know people so well online. Besides my Wana sistas ( whom i love)over the years I have met an amazing lady on a medical site of all plaves. Despite the fact we lived in very different worlds, we connected very strongy and her and her whole family flew up to visit us!Awesome!
One of my real life besties started out as a cyber friend (a little known fact).And another oe of the most awesome women I’e ever had the pleasure to meet and call a friend, I met online first.
There is truly a magic with online friends!I am blessed to have you all!!
Hi Elena!!!!
It’s been fun being here! I had no idea that you met your bestie online! I can totally see that happening, because in the short time I’ve been doing this, I feel extremely close to my online friends!
I can’t wait to finally hook up with the WANAs! Enjoy your vacay! See you when you get back!
When I joined WANA in July, I was sadly becoming a little jaded about people so I kept to myself and since I live in a rural area where no one knows me, it was pretty easy to isolate from “strangers.” When I joined Kristen’s class, I had no idea that I’d be making friends. Like Bridgette, I’ve been in online classes before and when the class is over, poof, everyone disappears. It has been very life-affirming to get to know all of you and to see what strong, brave, brilliant, genuinely kind, generous people you all are. Thanks for this beautiful post Diana. Thanks for hosting Elena. I hope you’re having fun!
Kate, I hear you on the online class experience. I’ve taken only one other online course but oddly enough, the dynamics just we not there. It was a writing class and I thought we would all track each other, but nope. Poof it all went on the last day. I didn’t expect to have such fun when starting out on social media. Thanks for coming out of isolation with us!
Like I said on your blog ~ We love you, Diana! I don’t know what I’d do without my WANA family. You all have become such a huge part of my life and I look forward to reading your bogs each day. It’s like I’m talking to my sister and we’re catching up over tea or something. It’s the most amazing thing that we all came together and click so well.
By the way, my son will text me even when he’s sitting on the couch next to me. Technology has made life more fun, but exasperating as well!
I truly do love my WANA sistas and bro. Taking Kristen’s class was life-changing in so many good ways. We’re all here for each other and if you ever need a shoulder to cry on, or an ear to rant at, or someone to share a laugh with, you’ve got it. Mwuah!
I could never thank you enough for your friendship, Tameri! You and all the others make this journey so pleasurable. I’ve met friends of your friends and we all just kind of co-mingle freely. I love the openness of everyone!
And back atcha, Tameri. You know where to go when you need anything at all! Lots of love to you!
I couldn’t have said it better myself Diana and I share in your experience!!! The friendships born since Kristen’s class have absolutely moved me and filled my life with an unexpected joy that I could not have predicted. It’s been one of the greatest surprises of my year! Here’s to our new family growing and staying strong always…
Love ya darlin’!! HUGS!!!
For the longest time, I refused to join FB because I thought the “friendships” on it were shallow. I wanted my friends to make time to call me on the phone, or get together face-to-face. I had to accept that I wasn’t going to get that, not in this day and age. But it didn’t turn out to be a bad thing. I’ve met so many awesome WANA people through social media. And it’s not so much the medium for our communication, but the quality.
Our wana sisterhood (with one brother included) has exceeded my expectations. Heck, I wasn’t really expecting to make friends with the classmates, and definitely not the type of friendship that we now have! I’ve said this so many times before, but I will repeat again — our wana group is so unique and so special, that I feel very blessed to be a part of it. Big hugs to all my wonderful sistas (and one bro). Diana, it was you who told me about Kristen’s class, remember? What would I do without you!
Aw, Diana, what a wonderful post. It’s true. Who woulda thunk it? We didn’t expect to meet such kind, loving, considerate people. It’s been life altering. Thank you for your expressions. They really said it all. I’m sending you a big cyber hug!
And thank you Elena for hosting Diana. I hope you had a great vaca!
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Diana, I’m glad it’s not just me! I consider myself SO lucky to have found such awesome online tweeps. I was beginning to wonder if I was weird/naive for feeling close to folks I’ve never met! I really care about these people, and they’ve touched my heart. Thanks for the post (and to Elena for hosting!), and good luck on your boys (I’ve got 3, so I hear ya) – AND especially your WIP!